And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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