Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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