I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize