We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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