imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
