the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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