You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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