Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
