I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
