Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
