I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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