he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
