i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
