Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
