brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
These tits shall not be calmed
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
