allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
