Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
