What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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