threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize