I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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