problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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