No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
