I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
