I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Found your dick twin last night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
