This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
