I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
