i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So squirting runs in the family.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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