Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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