ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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