she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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