you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
