No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize