So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
handjob tips. give me some.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
