sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
