Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
