ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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