Sry I called you an 8
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
