It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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