If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
