we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize