i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
