dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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