I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
