i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize