I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
