You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
