Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
