Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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