Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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