Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize