i just wanna soil my oats bro
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
