Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They took my balls.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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