McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize