I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just made my gag reflex go away.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
