Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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