just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
